Libromancy

Libromancy.

One word: Llamacycle. Get your ass up in an airplane and buy Joe and I a pair for Christmas.

I hate livejournal. I have no clue why but there's something about it that has always bothered me. I'm thinking about jumping ship again and getting my own little cozy space on a server somewhere... we'll see.

Sorry that I haven't been updating much. I keep my own paper journal for that sort of thing, and rarely touch the internet anymore except for those moments when I want to share my opinion about a book over at the No Pressure Book Club.

Speaking of books! I'm going to be doing the From the Stacks Challenge. My five books are:

1.Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf.
2.Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel.
3.Frankenstein by Mary Shelley.
4.House of Mirth by Edith Wharton.
5.L'enfant de Sable by Tahar Ben Jelloun.

Probably a third of my stack is in some foreign language or the other, but I'm only going to do one for this challenge because I don't want my mind to explode. Understandable.

First I have to finish up Theft by Peter Carey, then I can begin.

Oh, and don't worry, if I do decide to ditch livejournal (again) I'll post a redirect here.

It's wierd to see my own words come out of Brad Pitt's mouth.

"Brad Pitt, ever the social activist, says he won't be marrying Angelina Jolie until the restrictions on who can marry whom are dropped.

"Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able," the 42-year-old actor reveals in Esquire magazine's October issue, on newsstands Sept. 19. "

I've read a lot lately. I feel like I should do something with all of this bookiness now in my heads. Thus, below, mini reviews.

Books about books:

The Secret History of the Pink Carnation by Lauren Willig. The hype around this book led me to believe that it was a historical fiction adventure or a novel about a researcher. Both of which would have interested me. What we have instead is a bit of chick lit that just happens to mostly take place in France during Napolean's time. Here's the thing with romances: you don't read them for intellectual stimulation or classy writing. You read them for the sex. Sadly, this book even fails in this regard because it only has 1.5 sex scenes, and it's of the virginal- oh it hurts but she enjoyed it anyway- variety. Yawn.

The Archivist by Martha Cooley. Maybe I should have read a few reviews of this before I picked up the book. I got it thinking that I would get some insight into, you know, being an arcivist. Go figure. Actually the book is more of a meditation on WWII survivor guilt and religious conversion. Typically, I don't like being surprised by a book straying unexpectedly into religious territory. The fact that I finished the novel and really enjoyed it, despite my strong desire to read a book about books, demonstrates how deeply it enraptured me.

A Gentle Madness by Nicholas A. Basbanes. This book is a huge nonfiction work about book collectors. Book collectors are a strange sort of folk, and Basbanes claims that this work is not to list every book collector ever, but instead to show you some of the more important and amusing ones. Well, he does show you almost every book collector ever, and you have to wade through the hundreds of boring facts to get to any good anecdotes. Someone needs to make a shorter book with just the amusing stuff for those of us not interested in an encyclopedic work.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, vols 1 and 2 by Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill. I was anxious to read this because it's a very literary book. Every character is from an English novel; the stars of the show are Wilhemina Murray (Dracula) and Allan Quatermain (King Soloman's Mines). Sadly, the meat of it, the actual comic, wasn't that exceptional. What I did really enjoy were Moore's longer fictional non-fictionals that compliment the comic parts. At the end of volume 2 is a fictional geography of England, outlining the lay of the land as it is represented in English literature. This part is an English major's wet dream. I'm thinking about buying it and adding it to my collection of Arthurian literature that is taking up a disproportionate amount of space in my library.

Other Comics

Strangers in Paradise by Terry Moore. This could be aptly described as an illustrated version of Bikini Kill's "Rebel Grrrl." The characters all seem so familiar to me that there is no excitement in it; but that might also be because I'm not a big fan of romantic comedies.

Top 10 by Alan Moore and Gen Ha. I expected more from this, since I love Alan Moore's stuff, but this was a pretty typical superhero comic. Except much funnier and utterly porntastic.

Y: The Last Man by Brian K. Vaughan. You actually get a plot summary with this one, because the plot is so vital to this series. As one character describes-- it's the rapture, but only men are taken. Suddenly, only females are left on earth to witness the apocalypse. That is, just females and one male, Yorick. As Yorick's name hints at, this series is another "English major's wet dream." Also one of the most thrilling, hilarious, and addictive comic books I have ever read. The politics are a little dubious, but beyond that I have no complaints. This series literally manages to hit every pleasure center in your brain. It's entertaining, it's emotional, it's intelligent, it's action packed... and the series is long enough for you to become absorbed in it. That's one of the main pluses. Highly recommended if you want a quick but extremely worthwhile read.

Other Novels:

A Private Hotel for Gentle Ladies by Ellen Cooney. Being that this novel is about a proper lady who accidentally winds up living in a brothel, I had high hopes for this novel. While it wasn't that bad, it certainly wasn't as fun or adventurous as a plot summary suggests.

Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell. I almost forgot to write about this book at all! Of all the books I've read since I've left school, this has been one of my favorites. The writing is exquisite, the kind that prompts you to reread paragraphs outloud just to taste the different sounds as you make them. My vocabulary probably doubled after reading this book! It's divided into six 'stories' that span different centuries in the history of this world. You travel from the 19th century through to a post-apocalyptic future, tracing the cycles of humanity, the recurrance of courage, fear, solitude, hope. I know that sounds like romantic fiddle faddle, but after reading this book I was able to say such broad words like "courage" and "hope" and actually feel like they have meaning. Need I say that I recommend it?

Thinking about going to see Mark Danielewski read his new book. Have it on hold from the library. Never finish Houes of Leaves-- too long to check out from the library and read, too expensive to buy. Am considering this problem.

Anyway, back to the reading... going would mean skipping tutoring, or maybe just leaving way way early... decisions, decisions..

also interested in going see Bruce Campbell at the end of the month. I remember Laura (that was her name right?) and her Bruce Campbell obsession... how she went to Houston or somewheres to see him read and he flirted with her the whole time. They'll be alcohol at this one, double the fun.

Please suggest books for me to read. For once in my life, I'm not interested in something to just pass the time. I want something that teaches me, or makes me feel deeply.

It took me 8, count 'em, 8 tries to log in. Why is that?

Tonight was the whiskey taste test.

I am reporting live from my living room to bring you the results.

What we decided was that from now on, at home anyway, we're drinking Black Velvet. Joe and I had fairly different tastes, and we both happened to like this one. It's also the trashiest one and took me 5 minutes to open... I am serious when I say that my hand has a second degree burn from trying to open the frigging bottle.

We both rated Crown as the worst. That was the only thing we had in common!

Joe liked the cognacs- Hennessey and Courvasier. I was all over the charts.

The detailed are behind ( this cut )

The overall experience of the taste taste was much different than what I anticipated so I thought I should warn you.

During the taste test, you are required to drink much, much, much more quickly than you do in a typical setting. Joe did the taste test first, and after only the second whiskey, he started coughing and punking out. I thought he was being weak so I kept badgering him until he went to his fourth. Then he insisted on a break... I didn't like it and forced him to continue after a while. When it was my turn, I regretted it. He gave me much smaller tastes, and after my very first one I realized how I had gotten myself in trouble. You drink it slowly, to savor it and all, but if you time it, it's so much faster than you're used to drinking it that you might as well be chugging it. Just this morning I watched an ER epsidoe where someone almost dies at a college party, so by my second drink I was trying to find someway to quit before I died. I made it through alive, but let me warn you that A. I drank probably 2 gallons of water today, not counting my three glasses of tea, and B. I paced myself during the taste test. Please, please be careful if you perform an 8-alcohol taste test because you end up drinking quite a bit in probably an hour or less.

Well that's it. Hope you enjoyed it. I put my life on the line for your edufication.

I've had this dress since highschool. Most of its lifespan has been spent sitting in my sewing kit due to a big gash it developed across the abdomen. Now that my sewing machine is up and running I decided to finally take care of it.

I walked to Goodwill and found the first fabric that matched the color, then basically cut and paste it on. Below are the results. Please note that I'm holding it on because the whole side is cut out.




Now I have a few questions about where to go from here. First of all, is that a stain on my left breast, or a shadow? I can't even tell when I look at the actual fabric.

Secondly, should I add another strip of fabric to the bottom? I'm thinking yes, Joe's thinking no. It's sort of short as it is.

Lastly, and most importantly... how the hell can I hold it together but still get in and out of it? It used to have a zipper, but I had to take that out to add in the swatch. Maybe I can use some little hooks? No clue....

Is there money in making cos play costumes? If so, that would be a good excuse to sew some ridiculous pieces that you know you'll never wear.

BTW, my alltime favorite cosplay photo. I love the guy in the back going, WTF!??!!

Stupid people who stupid sleep late! I want to sew the waistband onto my pants, but I'm afraid that my loud sewing noises will piss off other people in the apt building! Grrr... wake up! Wake up!

I claimed our table for sewing and began learning. I'm doing quite well I think. I started with mastering the machine. I'm pleased to say that I now know perfectly how to use my sewing machine! That seems like a small step, but in the past this was one of the major factors that made sewing unpleasant. Constantly, the needle would come unthreaded or I would encounter some sort of problem with the lower thread. I used it for hours today and didn't have either thread mess up once.

My iron is also amazing and made pressing so much easier. It took me 4 different buses and two hours to get to this Craig's list guy's house to buy an iron from him. Then I still didn't get to his house; he had to drive to where I was and pick me up. By this point he and I were both thinking that all of this trouble wasn't worth the $5 or the iron. Well, I was wrong. It was totally worth it. This is a really nice iron that has a lot of features that make sewing easier, and if I had bought one from the store for $20, it wouldn't have been half as nice.

I think I'm ready to start a simple project. I probably won't be able to start until later this week though because I'll first have to ride to Joann's Fabrics and buy my materials. I was initially going to make a little tote bag using a pattern I found on the web. In my sewing box I found instrutions for a patternless tote that I'm going to use instead. It make a massive bag with a square sturdy bottom. I'll probably drag my fabric to work so I can use the supplies there to measure and cut my fabric. At work we have a 40x60 self healing mat, as well as nice rulers. The rulers at Joann's were $10-$15, which seems to me to be a little pricy.

I can't sew now because it's too dark in here, so I'm looking around on the internet, putting together ( my dream sewing pattern shopping list )

I consider myself as good a cat psychic as any, but this strange cat behavior leaves me stumped. Why would a cat want gardening gloves?

Well let's start over. First of all, how does a cat even distinguish a gardening glove as a gardening glove? Why not all soft items, or even all soft dirty items?

Secondly, is this instinct or intelligence? Animals don't have intelligence in the sense that humans do, and many people, some of them people who have actually studied the topic, believe that it's anthromorphism to insist that animals have any kind intelligence outside of instinct. I think that some sort of intelligence is shown here. A cat in New York is currently having some feeling, not prompted by instinct, that "I like this object here that smells like dirt, is like a blanket but rougher, and has five little pieces sticking out."

That's one kind of thought. I like that. I, for instance, like... oh, say, booksacks, but I don't go out and accumulate as many as I can. You can't possibly use them all at the same time-- the only benefit you really have in collecting them is a sense of accomplishment and that addictive feeling of possession.

I don't think this cat is feeling those things. But what is he feeling? Why more than one glove?

I'm perplexed.

Joe says that the gloves might have been used to garden catnip. The neighbors would have figured this out though, and it seems strange that everyone in the neighborhood gardens catnip. I find it surprising that there's even that many gardening gloves in the neighborhood at all. Plus that brings us back to the booksack example. If a cat finds catnip, he rolls around in it, eventually gets tired of it, then goes back in to eat. He doesn't create a catnip museum.

The whole thing is rather fishy.

A list of things to avoid when you're pregnant according to pregnancy.org or YOU could hurt your baby:

Items that give off electric fields. (Tv's, computer monitors, electric blankets, light dimmer controls, water beds, etc)

Cats (they say avoid cats, what they mean is avoid cat feces which presents a risk of something. Interestingly enough, the same toxin is in undercooked meat.)

Tap Water

Raising your body temperature

Negative Thoughts

---
Wow, if you could willingly avoid all negative thoughts, who would need to get pregnant? Your life would already be pretty much complete, and you would still be able to drink all the water you want.

So I went and bought the fabric for my grocery bag. Sturdy and cute are apparently not compatible. I decided on a plain, thick navy that was in the "home fabric" section, which means it's intended for drapery or upholstery, and thus pretty durable. As soon as I left I realized that I didn't buy any thread, so I'm thinking that I can use a thread in whatever color I do have, then do some embroidery on it in that thread color as well to cute-ify it.

Once I got home I hit two more snags. First is that you're supposed to wash the fabric before you use it. So I washed it and ran into the exact same problem that my mom and I ran into with the quilt experiment-- unstitched cloth unravels in the washer! Or maybe it just happens to me, because nowhere on google do I get any advice about how to prevent this.

So now the edges of my fabric are all jacked up, which means I might end up having to trim off more than I expected. I did buy a little extra just to be on the safe side, but... you know how it is.

Next problem. After you wash the fabric you have to iron it. I don't own a iron. Since an iron is a household staple, I didn't think about it when I went shopping. Now I have to wait until I go to work tomorrow to grab an iron from Target. And then what about an ironing board? I'm going to have to figure out some DIY way to turn my counter into one. Search for "DIY Ironing Board" on google turned up nothing, so I might have to figure this one out myself (the horror!)

Planning a trip to Joann Fabrics today to get stuff to make a grocery shopping bag, so that we don't have to use plastic or paper ones. We have so many bags in our house it's ridiculous. This will be the official shopping bag TM and we'll never have to use another disposable bag again.

Actually it's kind of scary that this will be my first big sewing project, because if a stitch pops, there will be devestating consequences. I imagine the bottom popping out while I'm on the bus and my fruit roll down to the front of the bus and an orange gets stuck under the driver's brake pedal and we die in a fiery crash.

Ok, so that's pretty unlikely, I must admit. I'll stop stressing.

Anyway, this website is really hilarious. I especially like the pee investigator. I've been thinking about crocheting a toilet paper cover just because I have nothing better to do. Now I'm aware that there's many possibilities for what this cover could look like. Maybe a llama? Must do research.

This makes me want to try quilting, the only craft I've yet to try... well, I take that back. I did once by all of the supplies to quilt, and had one learning session with my grandmother. Then we washed my fabric so that we could begin for real, well my mom washed it, and the washer fucked it up. So rather than buy all new fabric we gave up. But this awesome fabric makes me want to do it again.

Wow... so apparently I'm addicted to porn, at least food porn. I read this transcription of an interview with this guy who wrote an article comapring the way food television is filmed to the way porns are filmed. It is so true... all of it... the way it's all an impossible simulacrum, the way Iron Chef is the bdsm stuff of food tv... really. He talks about the squid in Iron Chef which is interesting because I had a dream in which I was in Japan. This man I didn't know let me in his house to ues his bathroom or his phone. There's a Japanese cooking show on his television where they're cutting up live squid to make sushi, and it's absolutely disgusting. I watch, horrified. Then the guy comes up behind me and tries to put the moves on me and I almost puke. At that moment I'm more horrified that he kissed me while I was seeing the squid than I am by the general fact of him trying to rape me. I told him this too, even though he didn't understand English. "Don't you understand how disgusting it is for you to associate my sex with this squid being eaten!!!"

I'll leave you with a quote from the article...

BROOKE GLADSTONE: You know, a key demographic - I found this surprising - for The Food Network is the 18-to-35-year-old male.

FREDERICK KAUFMAN: The men who like to watch.

I hear that her new single is actually good too! What is the world coming to?

Mitch Hedburg is like a night of smoking pot for all of us sober fucks who don't stay up all night smoking pot.

"A kitten bats around a ball of yarn but what he's really saying is, "You know I can't knit, motherfucker." That is one foul mouthed kitten."